As I lie awake
In the middle of the excruciating dark night
Crying deep within
In white sheering pain
Of open torn nerves
Of throbbing discontent
I feel like a broken animal in an alter place,
Sacrificial ,
So like
A deathly dying benediction
And
As the dark night
Gets darker
In deepening crisis
my twisting aching soul
cries out loud for divine help
Unashamed
As I cannot bear more
The white shearing pain
Ripping me apart
Slowly & Steadily
Every part of my naked physical being…
It is then when I finally surrender
In the wee hours of the early morning rise
to the late realisation
that
It is so much easier
To reach out to the white sheering pain
and embrace the same
in acceptance complete
than await
my charismatic dentist
with his infinite god sent redemption !

and yes
this intolerable white sheering pain
is so much less painful
than the grey obscure  impermanent
“psychological pain”
stored insecure deep within !

With the quieter dawn I await
Patiently
For a heavenly release
In infinite relief
Of both my body and soul !
In twin togetherness …